Empathic Parenting Counseling and Coaching

Supporting you in raising resilient, compassionate kids

What I’m Reading: Unselfie

I have a huge fear of public speaking. Fear might be putting it mildly as it actually borders on terror. In two weeks, I’m presenting to a group of psychologists about empathy and parenting, and I’m already losing sleep over it. I’m also inhaling information so I can give the illusion that I actually know what I’m talking about. As such, my focus in the coming weeks will be books discussing empathy. 

What I’m Reading

Last week I read Unselfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World by Michele Borba, Ed.D. Dr. Borba has written and presented extensively on parenting for years, and she has studied children and parenting practices the world over. I was excited to read this book since it specifically addresses empathy and parenting – clearly my two favorite topics to explore. 

In this thoughtful and informative book, Dr. Borba lays out nine facets of empathy, why they matter, and how to cultivate them. She provides suggestions and exercises to create a culture of empathy in the home and the classroom. Each habit Dr. Borba recommends is based on extensive research and a wealth of knowledge. 

Key Quotes

“Emotional literacy is a key to unlocking empathy. Before you can empathize, you have to be able to read someone else’s, or your own, emotions so you can tune into their feelings.”

“Kids must learn to control their emotions before they can recognize other’s feelings.” 

“The best way to teach your child self-regulation is by modeling self-regulation yourself.” 

“If there is one commonality in the exclusive club called parenting, it’s that we love our children dearly and will do everything to help them achieve their dreams. But many parents subscribe to the modern myth that boosting achievement and self-esteem is the exclusive formula to success and happiness, despite evidence that this approach is unfounded and even counterproductive.”

“Empathy opens when children are in places where they feel safe, accepted, and heard. And warm relationships are the incubator of caring.” 

Target Audience

This book is targeted to parents and educators. If you are interested in learning how to build empathy in children from toddlers to teenagers, this book is for you. 

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